“Haiti changed me. My heart, my worldview, my thoughts, my passions and desires. It’s where I developed a vision for international development, poverty alleviation, sustainable and equitable business, and creative solutions to environmental and social injustices. Seeing the beauty and joy and incredibly unique and awe-inspiring Haitian landscape, people and culture strengthened my faith and opened my eyes to God’s plan for the world and for my life.”

This is the classic response I give whenever anyone asks me about my short-term mission trip experiences. And there’s nothing necessarily wrong or untrue about it. But right at a time in my life when I find myself lodged into monotonous patterns and routines of college life, going through the motions, struggling to live with daily passion, vision and purpose, a good friend and mentor asked me to reflect on my three trips to Haiti and write a blog post for my home church about my experiences and reflections. I thought about it a lot, and almost wrote an extended version of the few sentences above until I realized how cliché, fake, and shallow that would be. Instead, I really challenged myself to deeply reflect on the true significance of Haiti to my daily life two years after my last trip, the ways that I allow these experiences to permeate my everyday decision making, and the ways that I continue to walk in ignorance and neglect for the place and people that I claim to have been so moved by.

I’ve been to Haiti three times, beginning in March 2009 and spanning my high school career. I came face to face with extreme poverty for the first time, and I will never forget how much the sight of tin and mud makeshift huts, barefooted kids with tattered t-shirts, infants with brassy, red hair (a sign of iron deficiency), and people openly defecating on the roadside, broke me and moved me. Despite these searing memories that replay in my mind often, I continue to find myself living and mindlessly participating in avaricious, prideful, selfish cycles of materialism, apathy, separation and indifference to the constant struggles and battles of the poor and oppressed around the world. As much as my worldly perspective has broadened and softened and my eyes have been truly opened to unimaginable poverty, these realizations mean nothing if they fail to penetrate my heart and transform my everyday life. I realize that the only way that we can ever truly dream of change and empowerment for Haitians or people anywhere is if we change the way that we live our daily lives in the comfort of our own homes. The stories, faces, and sights that we see and experience in Haiti or any other developing country will remain nothing more than poverty tourism or toxic charity if we don’t allow them to change how we treat the poor in our own community, the way that we handle our money, the way that we approach our job or schoolwork, or the way that we see and treat other peoples and cultures different from us. I believe that God does use experiences like short term mission trips to break us, mold us, change us and inspire us, but we have to remember that the discomfort, life changing realizations, and harsh realities we see are not meant to only last a week and then fade in the midst of the comforts, routines, and busyness of everyday life. The change, challenge and discomfort should be ongoing, continual and tangible even as we pass between cultures, places, national boundaries, economic strata, and in a sense, realities.

I encourage all readers to take this moment to reflect on God’s call, purpose and commands for your life, and how His Word in the midst of the experiences you face tangibly takes root and is lived out daily. Whether you have had the opportunity to participate on a short-term mission trip or not, ask God what it truly means to be poor in spirit or to go out and make disciples or to be the light of the world in 21st century America. And if you have been on mission trips to Haiti or other nations, ask God how to keep these people close to your heart even as you are physically separate. Pray for them, thank God for your experiences, ask him to soften, shape, and open your heart in order to mold your actions so that you can truly live out Christ’s message of love, grace, and redemption here on earth.

* image: Joao Baptista, “Saint-Pierre Church, Haiti,” from Haiti Sketchbook 2012/13

Last night I attended the annual Economics department Grossman lecture, this year given by Dean Karlan, the founder of the nonprofit Innovations for Poverty Action, whose talk was titled “Continued Existence of Cows in India Disproves Central Tenets of Capitalism.” The title reflects the idea that the economics principle that humans make rational decisions can’t always be true because so many people in India continue to have cows and buffalo when year after year these animals yield a negative return on investment in inputs and outputs across the board (not rational). Of course there are many plausible explanations as to why this is the case – for example, cows are an illiquid investment that people may prefer because they can save their money in an animal instead of an account or somewhere where they may be tempted to spend it. Another consideration is the social and religious significance of the cow, in regards to which Karlan raised a question from a social Darwinist view that if year after year the cow continues to cost money, why wouldn’t people move toward a more practical, if not lucrative investment as their object of reverence? I know, very curious …

I want to note that although this is not the focus of my post, this lecture opened my eyes to a level of innovation and creativity in microfinance techniques and strategies to address poverty and a focus on “bridging the gap between cutting-edge academic research and action by nonprofits, governments and firms” that I have never seen before. It is pretty amazing stuff. I encourage you to check out IPA’s website!

http://www.poverty-action.org/about

So, the comment about the irrationality of the continued reverence of the cow in India has prompted me to think about some deeper things that I’ve been contemplating for awhile now. I realize that on one hand, yes, the cow in India seems incredibly irrational even in the face of the valid explanations offered for its prominence, but on the other hand, I see that it is a display, a reflection, an allegory for something much bigger. The scope of what the world views as “normal” and rational is so narrow and restrictive. It is worldly, a social, cultural, and human construction. As a follower of Christ, I know that what God did in sacrificing his son for sinners, Jesus’ death on a cross to save and recenter the world, the lives that we are called to lead, and the decisions that we are commanded to make every day as Christians, are never going to be seen as rational or explainable in the eyes of the world.

I know that the Indian families with cows are likely not Christians and the irrationality of their behavior is due to a number of unrelated factors, but that is why this is an allegory for a much bigger issue. Moments where people (like those academics, economists and researchers at IPA) notice incongruities in what the world has deemed as rational, normal or acceptable, should prompt Christians to evaluate their lives. Everything we do as followers of Jesus should cause puzzlement in the eyes of the world. Our actions should reflect a radical departure from the axis of power, greed, wealth, violence, and hate that the world centers around today. This doesn’t mean our actions have to be huge and noteworthy in the eyes of the world, though those can be impactful too. But nothing about stopping and having a genuine conversation with someone, smiling at a stranger, or doing random, unscripted acts of kindness, is rational or normal. It is rational for humans to do anything in our power to preserve ourselves, better our own lives, live as comfortably and happily as we can, solely for ourselves. But as Christ followers, we are called to much, much more. As Brian Zahnd eloquently states in Beauty Will Save the World,

Jesus’ death and resurrection “saves the world from the pernicious lie that power and violence have to be the foundation of human social order. At the cross Jesus cast out Satan as the ruler of the world and gave the world not only a new ruler but also a new center, a new axis. In Christ the world no longer revolves around the pragmatic truth (lie!) of power enforced by violence. In Christ the world now is re-centered around the beautiful truth of love expressed in forgiveness” (77). 

The basis of Innovations for Poverty Action is the realization that immense amounts of evaluation, research and behavioral assessment are needed to develop the best approaches to fighting poverty. If a nation’s respect for a cow, or impoverished Kenyans’ decisions to take out a loan, start a business, look for alternatives to change their lives, etc., are causing people at Innovations for Poverty Action (and other places) to reevaluate traditional economic principles and frames of looking at poverty, this draws attention to a couple issues.

First of all, lives lived out, people’s emotions, thoughts, complex life situations, cultural norms and values, etc., simply cannot be boxed in by principles or rationales. We can notice general trends, themes, and guidelines of action, but they should never become so rigid or taken for granted that they shape all policies and ways of doing things. A reevaluation of poverty action, and a deeper assessment of people’s behavior and decisions in shaping results, is a breath of fresh air and a real necessity, considering the complexity of the world and the variety of cultural, social, political and economic situations.

Secondly, as a follower of Jesus who has committed every day to living in love and making choices that strive to differ from the world’s expectations, norms and values, and instead reflect Jesus’ redeeming love, forgiveness, and reorientation of the world, I have a renewed sense of hope in the realization that people notice incongruities and differences. Whether they are good or bad (hopefully good!), acting outside of traditional economic, cultural or social norms catch people’s attention. I am challenged and encouraged to think of really practical, organic, daily things I can do to reflect love instead of hate.

So a few final thoughts. As new creations in Christ, we must remember that we are in the world but not of the world. We live in the midst of a broken world but in the presence of an incomprehensibly powerful, forgiving, merciful, redeeming God. Political struggles, racial and ethnic violence that we cannot understand, brutality and unimaginable horrors of this world, should impassion us, unsettle us, anger us, grieve us, because we live in this world and these are the people that God loves and Jesus died for. But we cannot lose focus and forget that we can live everyday making conscious decisions and actions that reflect Christ’s kingdom on earth, which directly collide with the worldly ideals of power, violence, pride and selfishness. Starting today, don’t let the world tell you what is rational and normal, but let your new life and purpose in Christ motivate your actions, and in turn, spark intrigue and curiosity in those around you.

It’s been a wonderful and eye-opening first week here in San Juan!

Yesterday, I spent the day with Ivonne, learning about her work for Obrero Fiel, a ministry that aims to equip church leaders, missionaries, and pastors in Spanish speaking countries with biblical resources. I sent some emails for her and helped do inventory in the bookstore.

I have been spending a lot of time with the O’Brien’s, a missionary family in San Juan, and especially their kids, who are cute, playful, and full of energy. They remind me how much fun it is to be a kid and I feel comfortable, youthful, and free to be my natural silly self whenever I am around them.

I also helped teach an English class on Tuesday and Wednesday evening at the local community center, Nueva Imagen. I was a bit nervous because I’ve never taught English before and I don’t have any experience. But, the class was learning about money and common household items, so I helped organize an activity based on buying and selling these common items with fake money so that the students could review vocabulary and practice using money. It was a lot of fun, but definitely an example of the flexibility that is necessary for ministry in Mexico, and teaching in general. It helped that I have been learning Chinese this year, and can relate to the struggles that the students are going through with memorizing new vocabulary and getting pronunciations right. I can more easily sympathize with how difficult it must be to say even seemingly basic things like numbers or directions, because I still struggle with those things in Chinese. It’s not just the words themselves that are different, but the ordering and structuring of sentences that makes it really tough.

On Monday, I got a tour of Queretaro, the capital of the state of Queretaro, and also the local city, San Juan. I spent the day with Yadhira, a young woman who also works for Obrero Fiel. I thought she was going to show me her work, but instead we ended up walking miles and miles around the city, trying to find cultural sites that she thought would be interesting. I was really up for anything, but she insisted that I get a taste for the history of the area. It was a tiring but exciting day. Definitely a stretch for my Spanish speaking abilities, but also a great opportunity for practice.

I have been doing two new devotions in the mornings using YouVersion on my computer, since my phone hasn’t been working. One is called “30 Ways in 30 Days” about evangelism and the other is called “God’s Goodness.” I will end with one of the passages from “God’s Goodness” this morning, also one of my favorites.

Romans 8:37-39
“No, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

* image: drawing of Mexico City, DF by artist Robert Birkenes

This is my first attempt ever at writing a blog! Exciting stuff!

So, I’m heading out tomorrow morning for two months in Mexico with Camino Global! I am thrilled and overwhelmed by the opportunity to stay with a local family, teach English, observe missionary life, participate in church activities, and see a bit of the country, among other things. I know that I will meet so many new people and God will open my eyes to so many new, exciting and stretching experiences. I can’t wait! I will do my best through this blog to recount and reflect on events, places, people, thoughts and anything that strikes me during the next two months. Check in and keep me in your thoughts and prayers! All the glory to Him.